Commie Wants a Trust Fund

Rosemary, you’re the only kind waitress in this radical cooperative socially-conscious vegetarian restaurant - all the other waitresses despise me because I’m the dishwasher

Rosemary, only you smile at me - all the other waitresses treat me like I’m salmonella - I thought I could scrub crud with pride here, but I was wrong - I’m in the greasepit of this phony utopia

Rosemary, you bring me half-eaten Ho Chi Mihn hash browns to devour - you sneak me egalitarian waffles & Emma Goldman goulash - after work you tell me you wanna buy me a drink - so I follow you like a stray dog - you order Smirnoff because you want to support Soviets, like us

Rosemary, the longer I drink the longer your legs look - your eyes are as blue as the dishwashing detergent  - your teeth are whiter than the coffee cups

Rosemary — what’s this? you’re telling me your husband is a Republican? - he’s been impotent with you since the last election? - now he’s having an affair with Sheena - his motivational coach?

Rosemary, you follow me now to my trailer by the train tracks - my bed is as frigid as a Siberian gulag - Rosemary, you beg me. “please talk like a Marxist” - I say, “Okay! I’m a Sandinista, Zapatista, Red Brigader - I shot the Czar, Che es mi amigo, Lumumba died in my arms”

Rosemary, your breast starts heaving like the collapse of the capitalist system - you embrace me passionately - we are united, like the Workers of the World - we tear off our clothes - you want me inside you, but — oh no! - I’m as limp as your Republican husband

Rosemary, you cry: “what do you need? I’ll do anything?” & I say, “Rosemary, I need a fantasy too - will you pretend to be my wealthy Grandmother? tell me you’re giving me stocks, bonds & mutual funds? tell me I’m going to inherit some money?”

Rosemary, you hiss, “that’s disgusting, that’s — bourgeoisie” & I say, “I know, but it will definitely work”

Rosemary, what an odd couple we were - I was your Trotsky, you were my Trust Fund -               I promised the destruction of what you promised me                                                                     until we shuddered with our own revolution