Happy Until We're Dead (for an elderly couple)
(Husband) (Both) (Wife)——————————————————————————————————————
my wife is growing cellulite it’s crawling down her legs my husband, he’s got hemmorhoids - they're bubbling out of his ass her skin was once as smooth as cream but now, it’s cottage cheese his back is stiff, his mind is weak - he's farting in his sleep her butt looks like the moon enormous, and dotted with craters he's blind, he's deaf, he's spastic - but he still wants to drive
we’ve had a long and wretched life - full of horrible marital strife - despair and agony our only friends - we’re so relieved we’re near the end!
I wrote my will, I bought my grave let’s spend the money we have saved!
let’s be happy! let’s be happy now - let’s be happy instead of sad - let’s be happy we’re fed - - let’s be happy in bed - let’s be happy until we’re dead!
war and germs and poverty I wish I croaked last century civilization is beginning to smell I’ll soon escape this living hell - I can’t find a place to park I need a bypass for my heart I can’t smell or taste the food children on the street are rude! we worry about senility we worry about disease
we worry about anything - we damn well please
but the future is not our concern we’ll be hiding in our coffins
eaten by worms!
life was long, but now… it’s brief I don’t feel any grief I think it’s just a big relief!
let’s be happy, yeah - let’s be happy now - let’s be happy instead of sad - let’s be happy in the head - - let’s be happy in bed - - let’s be happy until we’re dead!
let’s be happy will pills let’s be happy with drugs let’s be happy when we’re getting robbed by thugs! take me to the mortuary take me to the cemetery bury us together bury us in stormy weather
that’s the way it’s been
are you happy? Yes I am happy, too I am happy I’m with you Let’s be happy, Alice let’s be happy, Fred
let’s be happy until we’re dead!
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