Natasha, You Thought I Was Gay

Natasha, you thought I was gay because I acted so swishy around your boyfriend Todd, the ex-Marine, but — Todd’s just so butch, I can’t help it

Natasha, you thought I was gay so you trusted me, Natasha, coming to my house late at night, drinking wine by my fireplace, flirting & tickling & cuddling & pinching my nipples because you think I’m gay & its safe & Todd thinks its cool: his girlfriend has a best friend who’s gay - it’s so San Francisco

so what do I do? Natasha, I go along with it, I fake it, I make up a lot of boyfriends because I don’t want to ruin things, Natasha, I’m obsessed with your translucent skin & your baby pout lips —  & then — late one night I say: “Natasha, I am so very very gay, we both know that - but… I’m… very oddly attracted to you - what does this mean?”

Natasha - you’re happy & curious & extremely aggressive, you kiss me & caress me & you unzip my pants & I whisper: “I’m a virgin with a woman; I don’t know what to do” & you’re gentle with me, Natasha, I act terrified anyway, I’m so dramatic, I almost convince myself, I say: “an erection!  good grief, with a girl? I don’t know who I am anymore” 

you strip for the challenge, your curves in the firelight - I pretend that your breasts are confusing, I toss them like a salad & I say: “your butt’s a nice bubble like Cher in 1972” 

my hands shake like a novice near your vagina, you tell me you like anal sex, I consider this carefully then I stutter, “thanks, that’s kind, but this other one, it’s new, its different, let’s give it a go”

Natasha, you tell me you’ve never felt sexier, I ask politely if I can go down on you next & you say: ”isn’t it frightening?” & I say, “I feel brave today!” & I lick you then & your nectar excites me, I break out of my role, carried away with the enthusiasm of my true identity - you push me away & you ask: “where did you learn that?”

I decide to end the farce, I tear off my mask & reveal the hetero & now, Natasha, you’re irate! You say seducing straight boys is dull, my only appeal is that you thought I was queer - you accuse me of molestation in the 3rd degree - penetration with a fake ID

I ruined it, damn!  I was a complicated challenge but now I’m just a straight horny white guy! Honest is always the worst option